Surgery

Ugh. What a week.

I spent it preparing for Friday. I did dishes, shopped for dresses I could wear, organized my closet of maternity items, baked meals to freeze for my family, gave our house a final good scrubbing, and pestered family and friends to find someone to watch Emmett this first week while Casey goes to work.

Friday, Casey took the day off work to be with me at the hospital. It seemed to take forever for the waiting to end and to finally be wheeled into the operating room. Dr. Putman met with us beforehand and answered my list of questions we'd written down and Casey took notes because I knew I would never remember.

When you go into an operating room it can be a bit intimidating. Everyone wears their masks, gowns, and gloves, and you have to get onto a separate operating table which is even more uncomfortable than the bed the wheel you in on. They give you an oxygen mask and tell you to breathe deeply. It smells funny, but this isn't what knocks you out. That comes through your IV. You know when they give it to you, because it stings when it hits your blood stream, and you can feel it moving up your arm. The anaesthesiologist I had commented, "Here comes the sleepy-time medicine. Nighty-night!" and then you literally see the blackness creeping in from the outside-in, taking over your vision. The very last thought I always have in the last moment of consciousness always takes the form of a prayer... that somehow everything will be alright when I wake up and a desperate hope that these people know what they're doing.

Unfortunately, you never feel alright when you wake up. Instead, at least when it's me, you come out crying, and hurting, and vomiting. That is why I'm going to skip the details that follow the surgery and instead tell you about the better things that happened.

1. The baby is doing just fine! He/she has a nice strong heart beat, and I can feel it moving fairly often, especially considering that we're only just barely 18 weeks and still pretty early to feel it a lot. The nice thing is that when I had this surgery with Emmett, he was so big that each time he moved it hurt me. This baby is still so tiny that the bumps and taps offer painless reassurance that all is well.

2. Dr. Putman was able to do some more exploring during the surgery and examine my situation carefully. This revealed some pretty useful information and helps a lot in relieving my conscience regarding our decision to only have two kids. Without a doubt, two is all my body can handle. That's good to know.

3. Casey was with me the entire time and I didn't have to face it alone.

4. I had a very meticulous nurse who gave great instruction on home care and taught Casey how to dress my wounds and take care of me at home. She made him practice and repeat instructions back to her so that she knew he was comfortable with what he had to do.

5. My cousin, Torry, was watching over Emmett and even though we were at the hospital MUCH later than anticipated (they didn't let us go until almost 8pm), we knew our little boy was being well cared for and having fun at her house.

I'm back at home now and I'm doing well. The first 24 hours were pretty rough, but things are going much better at this point. Casey is doing an amazing job taking care of me...which involves some pretty gruesome work sometimes. I'm so lucky I married someone who truly loves me and is willing to do so much for me.

Emmett is holding out alright. He is enjoying playing with Daddy. He frequently comes to the bedroom door and I hear his little voice outside, "Mama? Mama? Knock knock. Mama?" And I can hear him singing, "I luv Mama hm hm hmmm" all throughout the day. Sometimes we let him come in for a few kisses, but he's not allowed to leave Casey's arms or climb onto the bed. He looks at me, squints up his eyes, and says, "Mama so sad" and you can almost see his little brain working to figure out what is going on. Overall he is being very big and brave about the whole thing-- much bigger and braver than his mommy at times.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. We love you!

Lisa