The Small Things

It's hard to work and leave my sweet baby behind each day. Today I went to school and then had one of my evening classes for my reading endorsement. When I got home Emmett was already asleep. I'm so hungry to hold him and love him and see his adorable sweet smiles and hear his growling little laugh. Tomorrow I'll have to leave by 7:30am and be back in class at 8:00am. Will he be awake by then so I can kiss him goodbye before I walk out the door?

Yesterday one of my students, Hillary Dominguez, came in after school to do extra credit. I could tell she didn't really want to do the extra credit but really just wanted to talk. I had her as a student last year also and she had a rough 8th grade year. At the beginning of this year, however, we did an assignment where the students wrote "All About Me" books and told me what they wanted me to know about themselves. Hillary added page after page. It surprised me since she is usually so quiet. She wrote about how her sisters are her heroes because they both had their first baby while in junior high and that they are working very hard to make things work. Her mother started having children when she was 14.

About a month ago Hillary started coming in after class to tell me about the books she is reading. She doesn't come by all the time, just sometimes. Yesterday she came to tell me that she got a recognized as being one of the "Most Accomplished Freshmen" at the ninth grade assembly. She has all A's and B's! "I'm going to be the first person in my family to go to college!" she told me. "And I want more books to read. Do you have any more books I can take home?" Notice, that she didn't say she'd be the first to graduate high school (which would be true too) but that she skipped straight to plans for college.

She talks to me about her plans to do things differently than her mom and sisters. She says she wants to be happy and she doesn't want to ruin her life. She's reading all the time so she can become smarter now. She has a 5th grade reading level, but she can get through some of the thickest books if they're just the right type. I'm glad I've always kept up on my adolescent literature so that I know what's out there and can keep feeding her more.

Sometimes I think my job is paying off. Sometimes I feel blessed to see brave students trying to make a change, and to maybe think I'm a part of that. And I'm glad that as a working mom, at least I can help mother these other children while I'm away from my own. Sometimes, these small things cause me to love what I do. And I feel split between two worlds.