Yikes!

So sometimes, I wonder if working this hard at being a teacher is really worth it.

This morning, one of my students came in and told me that she was going to go on the orchestra trip and she'd miss part of my class. I said, "Okay." and forgot all about it. During second period, the office called and asked for Amanda to check out. Then she left. I continued with my day as normal and never thought twice about it.

After school, however, Cecily called me into her office. She told me that Amanda's parents had been to see Mr. Fawson, the vice principal. I guess that Amanda was supposed to leave during first period and missed half of the concert. Her parents were angry because, according to Amanda, I had told her that I thought she was a liar and that she could not go on the field trip because she was just trying to get out of attending school. Apparently, this is what I told her before school, and it's also what I said to her in front of the class when she raised her hand to ask me a second time if she could leave.

The funny thing is, I never said any of that. In fact, I have absolutely no idea what she is talking about. And she never raised her hand during class to ask to leave either... in fact, I was barely able to recall her mentioning anything to me before school started. I had seen her name on the excused list for the field trip several days earlier and had no problem with it then, and I had no problem with it today either.

Anyway, I spoke with Mr. Fawson and he believed me without a question, and so did Cecily. I role-played with Cecily how to have the conversation with Amanda's mom. I was advised to apologize, say that I don't remember saying any of that but obviously there was a miscommunication if Amanda thought I had forbidden her to go. I called and did just that and assured her mother that I think Amanda is a wonderful student, she does excellent work (one of her projects is on display in my classroom), and that I had absolutely no desire to prevent her from going on her field trip. I apologized for not reminding her about the concert when it was time to go and said that I wasn't aware of the time that the kids were supposed to leave since many of them did not even come to class today at all and so I didn't really pay attention.

Her mother was extremely adamant and angry in insisting that things happened exactly as her daughter said they did... like she was trying to force a confession out of me. I was almost in tears on the phone because I felt like by saying I didn't know what I had said for Amanda to take away the message she did, her mother was becoming more convinced that I was prejudiced against her child and accusing her of lying again (as I was supposed to have done earlier this morning). And I definitely felt like I couldn't say what I wanted to, which would have been along the lines of, "I don't know what you're talking about, so you'd better check with your daughter and find out what's going on." If I would have come out and said that instead of being groveling and apologetic, I know she would have become even more offended and angry.

I went right back to Cecily and spoke with her immediately after, and she made me feel a lot better. Unlike me, she has no problem labeling people with swear words at just the right moment, and although I don't condone it, it can sometimes be very comforting to hear a superior take your side with such expressive language. But it's such an awful feeling to be accused of something that I never did and I have no real way of defending myself. And it doesn't matter in the long run because the administration supports me and my mentor supports me, but it gives me chills to think of what I would do if it were a more serious accusation.

I would just really appreciate your thoughts as to how you would have handled this and what could possibly be done to prevent it in the future. How can I protect myself against the things kids will say and do? Another teacher this year was accused of hitting a kid while talking to him in the hallway. That accusation is more serious and a lot scarier. Of course, the security camera proved that he didn't do any such thing and the student was suspended as a result. But what protection do I have against accusations of conversations that never took place?

All I can say is that I'm glad that I work at a school where the administration supports their teachers. If I worked at a charter school run by parents, random accusations like this could cost me my job. And I have to ask myself for the millionth time this year, "Do I really want to be a teacher?"